Upgradium Medallion Bag Tag

Description

If you’ve ever been told an upgrade was technically possible and then watched the boarding door close, this bag tag is for you.

The Upgradium Medallion is an airline loyalty parody inspired by theoretical upgrades, optimistic app refreshes, and the cold reality that “practically no” is still the most honest answer.

Clip this onto your luggage and enjoy the quiet chaos of fellow travelers recognizing it immediately. Some will laugh. Some will nod knowingly. A few will mutter something about seat maps and move on.

Printed in full color on both sides of a durable PVC card and paired with a flexible plastic loop, this tag is built to survive real travel, real gate changes, and repeated disappointment at T-10 minutes to boarding.

Details
– Size: 3.375 in x 2.125 in
– Full color, double sided print
– Durable PVC card, ID style thickness
– Includes clear plastic luggage loop

What it does
– Makes your bag easy to spot at baggage claim
– Starts conversations with people who have tried
– Accurately sets expectations

What it does not do
– Get you upgraded
– Move you out of economy
– Change your odds no matter how confident the app looks

This is a parody item. It is not affiliated with any airline or loyalty program. It will not get you special treatment, but it will feel painfully accurate.

Perfect for frequent flyers, aviation meme fans, and anyone who knows upgrades are real in theory and imaginary in practice.